A Visit

A Visit


Ah-pe (the eldest brother of the boy’s father) came to visit one day.

The 4-year-old has the temerity to ask, “Ah-pe, why you have no hair?”

Ah-pe, wanting to encourage the little boy to eat more (yeah, traditional Chinese priority), thus replied, “Well, when I was a little boy, we were poor, and we have no food to eat. So my hair did not grow.”

The little boy said, “But you must be rich now and you can eat more…”

Robot Eye

Robot Eye

We brought the kids (ages 8 and 4) to Singapore for a learning educational trip October of 2004. We went to the zoo, night safari, marine world, the Science Discovery Center, the wetlands and even a tropical rainforest. I think the most memorable place for my daughter is the Science Center because she can already understand most of the concepts taught. Plus, she was able to survive 1 million volts of lightning! (while inside a metal cage, of course.) For my son, the most memorable is, understandably, the Sentosa Island with its fabulous laser show at night.

For me, however, their toilets still bring a smile to my face up to now. Now, don’t make your judgments on me yet. Please let me tell you the whole story.

Singapore is indeed a very clean country. They are quite strict on spitting, throwing garbage on the streets. Their public toilets are very modern, clean and sanitized. No smell at all. (This is really quite different from the smelly public toilets in China – my son refuses to urinate there! Not to mention the Philippines where the only public toilets accessible are those from the fast-food restaurants and gas stations.) And most of the toilets have automatic flushes! Now, I am no stranger to automatic flushes. But this is the first time my son encountered one.

“Mommy, the toilet flushed by itself!”

“Yes. It has sensors.”

“Sensors? What are sensors?”

“Well, it can feel that you have stopped your wee-wee and so it will flush your wee-wee out be itself.”

“Wow! Maybe it can see me.”

“No, it doesn’t have eyes.”

“Yes, it does. See the little red blinking light? That’s the robot eyes”

One day, he had to poo-poo in a public toilet and as I was wiping him with a tissue (available free of course) the toilets automatically flushed even when he was still sitting down.

“ Mommy, you know why it flushed? Because my poo-poo is baho baho.”

“Well… I’m not sure that’s the reason…”

“Yes it is. The robot doesn’t want to smell yucky poo-poo so he flushed even if I’m not yet finished.”

“You know, mommy, I like it here. Their toilets have robot eyes.”

A Personal Philosphy on Birthing

A PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY ON BIRTHING

1. Childbirth is the perfection of womanhood.

I have known many women who really long to bear children. I have a friend who didn’t want to marry her boyfriend of eight years. When I finally received an invitation for her wedding, I asked her why she changed her mind. Her answer was because she wants to have a baby. Upon learning that I was pregnant, another friend said, “Oh, my wife will be so envious of you.” This friend has low sperm count. He and his wife have consulted many specialists and have undergone a lot of tests. It has been three years and they are still waiting.

Should we pity the men who can never experience the joy of pregnancy and childbirth? When I was pregnant, I would often complain to my husband, “I wish you were the one who’s carrying this baby, Don’t you know it is so difficult? You’re not the one who will feel the pain when the baby comes out…” My husband would say, ”If I can do that, I will. It would be easier for me to experience these myself rather than feel helpless and worry sick over you and the baby.” Yes, we women have difficulties, discomforts and problems. But nothing compares to the feeling of pride and happiness when you hear the first cry of your baby. You think, “I’ve nurtured a life inside my body!” Now, that’s something you can achieve and the men cannot.

It is God’s design for women to give birth. The women in the Bible consider themselves cursed if they don’t bear children. One famous example is Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel. Because she was barren, her rival Peninah, who has many children, would provoke her and irritate her. Because she was barren, she would often cry and not eat, and even her husband could not comfort her. One day, she poured out her heart to the Lord God Almighty. He opened her womb and she gave birth to Samuel whom she dedicated to the Lord and Samuel grew up in the Lord’s service. For Hannah, what matters is the experience of childbirth, of being able to give life and love. Rejoice women! You have this wonderful capacity by God’s design. Rejoice!


“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”
- Genesis 1:31


2. Children are a gift from the Lord.

Our grandparents and great-grandparents believe that children are a blessing. That is why they want to have as many children as possible. My maternal grandmother has 8 girls and 3 boys. My paternal grandmother has 5 girls and 3 boys. They believe that having many children would mean that many people will take care of them in old age. This I have seen was true for my grandparents. (Although both couples are now deceased.) Having many children also translates to having countless grandchildren providing them comfort, laughter, enjoyment and company during their retirement years. I think the Filipino people, in general, specially in the rural areas still think that having many children is good. That is why, our population figure is still growing despite the government’s family planning program.

However, the same belief does not hold true for the new generation of urban dwellers, who are more educated and career-oriented. They know the advantages of having a small family. Almost all the friends I know want to have 2 to 3 children. They want to spend more time with each child, give the best education and support to each child; which they would not be able to afford if they have many children. Despite the number of children they choose/plan to have, they recognize that children are treasures. That is why they want to give their children the best.

As a mother, I know this as a fact. Yes, there are times when I am tired and irritated because my baby demands so much from me. But in general, my baby gives me hours of pleasure and enjoyment. It is sheer happiness for me to see my baby smile and gurgle. It is with utmost pride and joy to see my baby achieve her firsts (e.g. first time to roll over, to eat solid food, etc.) I know a little boy who asked his mother, “Ma, do you know what old (adult) people’s toys are?” The mother said, “No, I do not know. I don’t think adult plays with toys anymore.” “Yes, you do have toys,” said the boy, ”Your toys are the babies.”

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
- Psalms 127:3



3. If the Lord is going to give you a gift, He is not going to make it painful for you to receive it.

If a friend will give you a gift, I doubt it if he will make it difficult for you to receive it. He will not say, “I have a gift for you, but you will undergo a lot of hardships to get it.” Or, “It will cause you great pains to get it.” Remember, our God is a gracious-giver. He gave us His only beloved Son, and He made our salvation so easy. All we have to do is to accept His grace. The same is also true with childbirth. It may be uncomfortable, but it will not be hard nor painful. If the Lord is going to bless you with a child, It will not be painful.

“But Thou art a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness; and Thou did not forsake them.”
- Nehemiah 9:17b


4. With the doctor’s expertise by your side, with your husband’s hand holding you, with God’s eyes watching you, you have nothing to worry about.

At St. Luke’s Hospital in Quezon City, where I gave birth, the husband is allowed inside the delivery room if the woman is giving birth using the Lamaze or other natural childbirth method. However, once the woman is given medical intervention, (e.g. anesthesia) the husband will be requested to leave the room. From my experience, my husband’s reassuring hand during my labor provided enough emotional support, such that I chose him instead of the anesthesia. I have to thank my Christian doctor, too, who stayed by my side since I entered the hospital. In between contractions, I talked to God and prayed for a quick and safe delivery. And everything worked out fine. It was tiring but nevertheless an exhilarating experience.


“And again, ‘I will put my trust in Him’ and again, ‘Behold, I and the children whom God has given me.’ For assuredly, He does not give help to the angels but He gives help to the descendants of Abraham.”
- Hebrews 2:13 & 16

Justine at Two

I start this post for my children. Hopefully, when I find time, I will try to write down my wonderful experiences with them. My memory may fail me in the future, but I hope the words written here will serve as an album of memories.

This was what I wrote several years ago, when my eldest girl, now 8 years old, nearly 9, was still a toddler.


July 31, 1999


Justine is now 2 years and 9 months old. She started preschool at St. Mark last June. She has 10 classmates and I don't know how many more new friends, because they have inter-classroom activities every Friday. As of now, she can count 1 to 20, sing the alphabet song and other preschool songs. She can identify the numbers 1 & 2, identify and give the sounds of letters M (for mommy), D(for daddy), J (for Justine), S, A, R, B, O. She can identify all the colors and shapes, she knows 'opposites' like long and short, outside and inside, and so on. She can say the names of her grandparents (both sides) her aunts and uncles, ninong and ninang.

Unlike most of her classmates, she didn't cry on the first day of school, or even on the following days and weeks. One day, when I brought her into the classroom, I saw her giving a friendly pat on the shoulder of a classmate who was crying and overheard her saying "don't cry na..." I was so proud of my baby. After a week in school, I was surprised to receive a note from the teacher. According to her, my daughter refuses to talk to her and answer her questions. Not even questions like "what's your name?" The teacher has not heard my baby's voice for one entire week! Apparently, Justine does not participate in group time (singing and story-telling), and does not answer when they work, not even to ask for help when it is eating time or toilet time. The teacher said that instead of crying, this might be Justine’s response to a new school. And she is willing to let Justine get used to this new surrounding.

And after 2 weeks of school, according to the teacher, she's very very noisy. She's even the one who starts naughty antics. For instance, during one group time, for no apparent reason, she removed her socks and shoes and everyone followed. I suppose my baby was delighted and the teacher was, thank God, patient enough. I noticed some little changes, too. During dismissal, she would wave her hand enthusiastically and tell everyone "goodbye, see you tomorrow." - including other teachers, other yayas and mothers.

One day, my sister Jac was showing Justine a picture, and Jac pointed "monkey." Justine said, "no, that's a gorilla." Jac was impressed, naturally, it was a gorilla after all.

I was at the 2nd floor SM City last week. I was looking for a card for a friend whose husband died recently. When I turned around, Justine was not beside me anymore! I was in a major panic mode. I went around and around the 2nd floor. I was afraid that she had gone out of the department store, or went up or down the escalator herself (she can do that already). And worse, I was afraid that she would be kidnapped! You know, a chinese-looking kid roaming around by herself... I don't know how long it was - even if it was only a few minutes, it sure felt like a long time for me. I found her talking to an SM saleslady on the other side of the escalator. Relief and sigh. The saleslady asked how old she is, because according to her, Justine told her " please find mommy Ning." The saleslady was impressed "kasi may please pa."

She loves to eat hotdogs. (Yes. I know, it's not exactly a good choice for kids to eat. But Justine is a picky eater, I'm already happy when she eats anything at all.) One day, I gave her one piece of vienna sausage. After she finished eating it, she asked for one more. I was surprised. She usually eats only 1. I happily gave it to her. Then, she slid down her chair and announced that she's going to Kongkong's (grandfather) house, and give the "hotdog" to Kongkong to eat. (You see, my mother-in-law at that time was not here – she was in China, so I share what I cook to my father-in-law and I think Justine got it from there.)